Bidets All The Way
Bidets have been gaining popularity in the United States, especially since the Great Toilet Paper Shortage of March 2020. Companies like Tushy have made it easy and affordable to add a bidet to existing toilets with bidet attachments. But even pricier bidet toilet seats and bidet toilets are in demand. American Standard and Omigo offer high-tech products with features like heated seats and air dryers.
Okay, so maybe you don’t need every feature that comes with a techy toilet, but do you need a bidet? My research and personal experience says yes.
If you are blessed with perpetual ghost wipes (nothing is on the toilet paper after a bowel movement) then please tell me all of your secrets. If you are not blessed with such bliss then the best way to get fully clean is with a bidet. Bonus: bidets are also ideal for the environment because no trees were harmed in order to get your anus clean.
Best Bidet Practices
Although bidets are the best cleansing option for your bowel movements, there are a few things to consider.
Start with a slow stream. You do not need a firehose amount of pressure to get clean. Plus, high pressure can actually lead to an anal fissure.
Pat dry after use. Lingering wetness on your anus can lead to irritation and other issues.
European-style bidets require you to use your hand to get clean. If you see a low, sink-like fixture while traveling abroad, saddle up and give it a whirl.
European-style bidet by Toto
High-Tech Bidet Toilet by American Standard
Don’t Have Access To A Bidet?
Wet wipes are second best to bidets for getting clean after a bowel movement. My favorite “flushable” wipe is Dude Wipes. Dude Wipes’ products are heavily marketed towards, you guessed it, dudes, but I like that they are fragrance-free and don’t irritate my butt. Cottonelle wipes are also a top favorite of mine.
Although wet wipes are superior to dry toilet paper for personal hygiene they are horrible for sewer systems. Even wipes labeled “flushable” can clump together and create “fatbergs” that clog sewer systems. According to flush3ps.org, “Sewer workers are put at risk clearing out clogs” and “sewer rates rise because of the extra work and damaged equipment.” If you use wipes, wrap them in toilet paper and then throw them in the trash.
Toilet Paper and Toilet Paper Spray
Dry toilet paper aggravates your skin and does not get your anus fully clean. The leftover fecal matter will cause itchiness and additional irritation. Although it is the least effective option for cleaning after a bowel movement, it is environmentally more friendly than wet wipes. A creative solution for getting a better clean with toilet paper is to use toilet paper spray. This concept is new to me but there are over 10 different sprays on Amazon. Some even have witch hazel in the ingredients, which reduces hemorrhoids.
My homework is to try out a toilet paper spray and report back to you. Your homework is to find a friend who has a bidet and try it out for yourself. I think you’ll like how it makes you feel: satisfied and clean.
Citations
https://www.pmmag.com/articles/103727-consumer-interest-in-bidets-surges-following-covid-19-pandemic
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8849414/
https://colorectalresearch.sums.ac.ir/article_47157.html
https://www.consumerreports.org/video/view/money/shopping/22783507001/are-flushable-wipes-flushable/
